Saturday 10:00 a.m. You could hit a show straight away alongside breakfast at the B'est Restaurant on Drummond Street and kickstart your day with Richard Simms, the effervescent fitness guru with a the big heart and tiny shorts. Hilarious health advice and celebrity silliness with breakfast included.
11:30 a.m. Go see the buskers along the Royal Mile and walk straight along the road to Edinburgh Castle.
Small troupes promoting themselves will lie on the pedestrian zed Mile begging for you to come to their shows, people in pajamas, funny hats, colored hair, dressed as poppies or in giant lizard suits may roar for your attention and there is an army of young women all toting placards, handing out flyers and even Chinese fortune cookies. Drink it in.
When you get to the castle (www.edinburghcastle.gov.uk), you'll discover it's perched on an extinct volcano and is classed as a World Heritage Site. A fortress of some kind has stood here since 600 A.D.
1 p.m. If you hear a booming noise then that's the one o'clock gun fired from the castle almost every day since 1861. Head to any sandwich shop nearby for lunch, or make your way down the Mound past the National Gallery and the Royal Scottish Academy, over Princes Street to the parallel Rose Street, which is filled with pubs, restaurants and bars.
Alternatively, book a posh lunch at The Witchery (www.thewitchery.com) located in an historic 16th-century building by the gates of Edinburgh Castle. The oak-paneled walls are hung with tapestries, mirrors and carvings. But make sure you've made a reservation.
3 p.m. You could go to "Barflies," gleaned from the literary talents of American writer and alcoholic Charles Bukowski, in which the main character "Henry" extols the liberating -- as well as confining -- effects of alcohol abuse.
The performance is held each afternoon in the Barony bar on Broughton street and audience members are offered their choice of drink as they walk in. But you might go off the booze afterwards.
4 p.m. Take in another show, cruise the Royal Mile and watch the buskers or take a spooky walking tour with Auld Reekie tours (www.auldreekietours.com), who advertise on the Royal Mile or the nearby Mary King's Close (www.realmarykingsclose.com). Both take visitors on tours of the forgotten bits of the city that lie beneath the Edinburgh of today. See the old haunts of body snatchers, criminals and witches.
6 p.m. You're tired and hungry, so you'd best head for food and drink before a busy evening of shows and fun. It's time for traditional Scottish food: Haggis neeps and tatties or Sheep's offal boiled in a sheep's stomach and served with mashed parsnips, potatoes and covered with a whisky jus.
There are a number of places that serve traditional Scottish food and one close by the festival at 15/16 Market Street is the Doric Bar and Restaurant (www.the-doric.com), which bills itself as Edinburgh's oldest gastro pub.
The Doric was built in the 17th century and serves locally sourced homemade food in its ground floor bar and traditional fare like haggis in the wooden-floored restaurant upstairs with an extensive wine and whisky list.
8 p.m. Head out to some shows you've booked or chase the nightlife in Edinburgh. With more than 2,000 theater, comedy, dance, art or other shows you're spoiled for choice.
Or you can soak up the festival atmosphere down at the Pleasance Courtyard at 60 Pleasance street, where six bars, three cafes and 16 venues play host to festival-goers, actors, comedians and locals out for the night. The venues are packed with evening shows and there is a box office on site.
If you're in the mood for something really strange go see "My Name is Sue," an hour of bizarre piano-playing narrative by a man dressed as a woman all about "Sue" from Cardiff, who was bullied at school for smelling of wee.
Edinburgh festival staff have been buzzing about this show, which teeters on the edge of insanity and rushing for seats to hear Sue mourn the sudden deaths of her parents and her expulsion from the lost paradise of her Swiss finishing school after an ill-advised night of outdoor passion with a handyman.
11 p.m. Go home, hit one of the many night shows such as the "Late Night Gimp Fight," comedy cabarets or lose yourself in the Pleasance Courtyard atmosphere before walking the streets of Edinburgh on a pub crawl from the Pleasance to your apartments.
